Dr. Michelle Rozen


How to Hit the Mute Button on Negative Self Talk (and Why You Should Make it a Priority)

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mute your negative inner voice

You are working so hard to change things in your life for the best, but you are still having negative thoughts. “I’m never going to be promoted,” or you constantly think, “People think I’m weird”. Let me tell you this: these conversations you have with yourself in your own mind have the strangest tendency to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It is frustrating when you work hard to make so many changes in your life just to find out that you have an inner voice that sets you up for failure or just makes everything double hard.

Welcome to the “Fight Your Inner Negative Voice Club”. There are many members here. Millions, in fact. People who run the marathon of life with shackles. The shackles of a negative inner voice.

Your negative inner voice is your worst enemy. Here is why:

Here is what I have learned about dealing with a negative inner voice- it is your worst enemy. It will set you up for failure if you do not control it and it has more control over your day to day life than you even begin to realize.
This negative self- talk is your internal enemy and it affects every aspect of your life- your self- esteem, your confidence, your personal and work relationships, and every aspect of your ability to succeed in everything that you do.

Here is what negative self-talk (self-thoughts) sounds like:

“You’re not smart enough”
“You’re not attractive enough”
“You’ll never be successful,”
“No one appreciates how hard you work,”
“You are under too much pressure, you can’t handle this stress.”
“He/she doesn’t really care about you,”
“You’re better off on your own,”
“Don’t be vulnerable, you’ll just get hurt.”

Recognizing your own inner voice in all of this?

Think of it as an inner narrator that narrates your entire day.

Where does it come from?

Many of these negative voices come from our parents or primary caretakers, as children we pick up on the negative attitudes that parents not only have towards their children but also toward themselves. Our voices can also come from interactions with peers and siblings or influential adults.

How do we then beat the negative inner voice? (Hint: use this mantra)

The most important step for replacing the negative inner voice with a positive, compassionate one- towards others as much as toward yourself, is to realize that it is not you, and it is not reality. It is just a grumpy, negative narrator that needs to be replaced. The good news? Once you realize that your thoughts are not you, that they are generated in your mind but can and should be controlled, you regain your power over negative thoughts and their negative impact on the course of your life. In other words- fire the grumpy, negative narrator, and pledge to replace him or her with a positive and compassionate one.

Make it your pledge for the next thirty days: no negative self-talk, and replacing all negative self- talk (the grumpy negative narrator) with positivity. Every time the negative inner voice starts going at it again, repeat this mantra to yourself “Be positive”. Say it to yourself firmly in a tone that means business and takes charge. Repeat as needed until that negative self-talk becomes a habit of the past.  You are guaranteed to see amazing results, and you will become happier, calmer and more focused and successful.

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