Feeling stuck is more than just a passing emotion. It’s a signpost. It’s your internal system flashing a bright signal that something needs to change—urgently. Whether you’re stuck in your career, your relationships, or simply in the way your days unfold, the first step toward meaningful transformation is to notice it, name it, and get curious about what it’s trying to tell you.
When leaders, professionals, or even high achievers feel stuck, the natural instinct is to push harder, to do more of the same in hopes that effort alone will drive a breakthrough. But feeling stuck isn’t a problem you can solve through force—it’s a signal that you need a new strategy. A smarter one. One that begins with understanding the habits and patterns keeping you in place.
The Elevator Button Phenomenon and Why It Matters
Why We Repeat Actions That Don’t Work
Picture yourself in front of an elevator. You press the button. The light goes on. You wait. Nothing. You press it again—and again—hoping the elevator will come faster. It won’t. But you still keep pressing.
This is what I call the Elevator Button Phenomenon, and it reveals something fundamental about how we behave when we feel stuck. We repeat actions that don’t work—sometimes out of habit, sometimes out of desperation—because repetition feels easier than recalibration. Pressing the button gives us the illusion of control, even when it’s doing nothing to move us forward.
What This Tells Us About Human Behavior
When you understand the elevator button behavior, you see how often we all do this in real life. We double down on conversations that never go anywhere. We try to motivate ourselves the same way, even though we know it no longer works. We parent, lead, and live on autopilot.
We crave predictability more than progress. Even ineffective routines give us comfort because they’re familiar. This is the biggest reason we stay stuck—we fear the discomfort of change more than we fear the consequences of staying the same.
Feeling Stuck in Life-Changing Behaviors or Doing the Same
Relationships and Repetitive Responses
In relationships—whether professional or personal—it’s easy to fall into recurring loops. You argue with your partner in the same way. You shut down in meetings. You avoid hard conversations with your team. You might tell yourself it’s just who you are, or that it’s not worth the fight. But what’s really happening is repetition without reflection.
Every relationship is shaped by patterns. And unless we challenge those patterns, we end up experiencing the same frustrations again and again—just with different people or different settings.
Parenting and the Trap of Escalation
If you’re a parent, you’ve likely experienced this: your child doesn’t listen, you raise your voice, they get defensive, and the situation escalates. The next time it happens, you raise your voice even sooner. And the pattern continues.
We do the same thing in leadership. We become more directive when our teams underperform, instead of taking a step back and examining what’s really going on. The more we escalate, the less we solve—and the more stuck we become.
Choosing a Different Course of Action
The way out is not force. It’s awareness.
The moment you choose to pause, notice your pattern, and try something different, you open a door. That new strategy might not work right away—but the act of choosing something new begins to unstick you. It breaks the loop and forces your brain to engage with the present instead of running the same mental script.
Finding Motivation to Get Unstuck
Why Your Brain Resists Change
Here’s the truth: your brain is built to resist change. That’s not a flaw—it’s survival. Routines save mental energy. They keep us efficient. But when those routines start costing us progress, we need to intervene. And that takes work.
Change feels risky because it invites the unknown. And the unknown takes more cognitive effort than simply sticking with what we’ve always done—even when it’s not working.
The Cost of Mental Energy and Self-Reflection
Self-awareness is a mental workout. It burns energy, and your brain would rather coast. That’s why people often stay in jobs they hate, relationships that feel stuck, or habits that leave them drained. Reflection requires a slowdown—and in a world obsessed with speed, slowing down can feel like falling behind.
But the opposite is true. Self-reflection is how you get ahead. When you take time to examine your patterns, you stop wasting time on what doesn’t work. You become intentional. And that’s where transformation begins.
How to Stop Feeling Stuck in Behaviors
Step 1 – Pause and Rate Your Motivation
Start by asking yourself: How badly do I want to change this? Use a simple 0–10 scale. If it’s a 7 or above, you’re ready to make a shift. If it’s lower, that’s okay—get curious. What’s holding you back? Is it fear? Fatigue? Doubt? Labeling your level of motivation is powerful because it transforms a vague feeling into a specific insight.
Step 2 – List and Reflect on Past Interactions
Grab a notebook. Write down three recent situations where you felt stuck—at work, at home, with yourself. What did you do? How did it play out? What were you hoping would happen?
Reflection is where the magic begins. You’ll likely start seeing patterns. Same reactions. Same outcomes. Same emotions. Once you recognize these loops, you gain the power to change them.
Step 3 – Write Down and Try Three New Strategies
Now that you’ve spotted your patterns, disrupt them. For each situation, write down three different strategies you could try next time. They don’t have to be perfect—they just need to be different.
For example:
- If you usually respond defensively, try pausing and asking a question instead.
- If you tend to procrastinate, set a 10-minute timer and do something.
- If you avoid feedback, ask for one small insight from someone you trust.
Then pick one and try it. You’ll learn more from the doing than the thinking.
Final Thoughts: Progress Comes from Breaking the Pattern
Here’s what I want you to remember: feeling stuck is not a flaw. It’s a signal. It means your current way isn’t working—and that’s incredibly valuable information.
You don’t need a life overhaul to get unstuck. You need small, deliberate shifts. You need awareness. And most of all, you need the courage to try something different—even if it’s uncomfortable, even if it doesn’t work the first time.
Whether you’re a leader trying to improve team dynamics, a parent facing communication blocks, or someone simply seeking more fulfillment, your path forward starts with breaking the pattern.
One new action. One new choice. One new strategy.
That’s where freedom begins.
